This is a continuation. Please check out for Vol.1, if you have not done so.
7. Have a forgiven heart
The bible says that we should forgive one another, (Matthew 6v14-15). So please be willing to forgive your spouse and move on. Don’t keep a catalogue of offences that your spouse has done. Pastor Bimbo Odukoya said that marriage is “two forgivers living together”. This is the bedrock of a peaceful and loving home. There is no way you can have a peaceful home, if you don’t forgive each another. I have seen people who keep a catalogue of what their spouse has done to them which often lead to tension at home. Some people can give you the decade, year, month, week, day ,time and place the offence took place, “come on”, you don’t need all that stuff.
8. Be honest/open to your spouse.
Someone said that “you need a million lies to cover one lie”. Also, “you don’t have to remember what you said last time only if you tell the truth”. A man had some money hidden in his bedroom, and when the wife asked for money to prepare lunch he swore that he never had any money. So when he left for work, the wife came across some money, and since the husband had told her that he had no money, she felt that the money was hers. So she took the money and prepared the meal. When the man came back, she gave him food to eat and thereafter, the man was panting all over the house looking for the money. The wife asked him, are you looking for something? He replied no, because he couldn’t face the wife, having lied to her. After a while, it was clear to him that the money was actually missing, and so he had to open up to the wife, but it was too late because the money was gone. Please read Colossians 3 v 9-10.
9. Try to meet the needs of your spouse
Every wise spouse should know that you are created to serve the interest of others including your spouse. Jesus gave the perfect example when he said that the greatest in the kingdom shall be the servant, (Matthew 23v11). Look out for the needs of your spouse and work hard to meet them as much as possible. The following guide will be helpful, and you can add yours. I got this from a church service I attended some months ago.
• She needs affection
• Open and honest communication
• Deeper friendship
• Sexual affection
• Support and encouragement
• Remain physical attractive
• Domestic security
• A playmate.
10. Team is better.
You must have the mentality of a team. Once you see your spouse as a team member, where you win or lose together, then you do whatever it takes to succeed, (Amos 3v3). You must understand that your wife/husband’s peace is depended on your own peace as well. If your husband/wife is not at peace, you can’t be at peace.
11.Think before you talk
Someone said that God gave us two ears and one mouth, so that we can listen more and talk less. Remember that once a word is said you can’t take it back. Your word is irrecoverable. Don’t verbally abuse your spouse. In my undergraduate days I heard a story of man who told the wife in the “heat of the moment” that she got her professorship by sleeping around. Both of them were lecturers in the University. The woman cried and asked for divorce. The man tried to convince her that it was a mistake, but the deed has been done. The couple finally divorced. Please watch your tongue. The bible says that the power of life and death are in the tongue, (Proverbs 18v21). Also take a look at Proverbs 21 vs 23, which says that;
“Whosoever keepeth his mouth and his tongue, keepeth his soul from trouble”
So please check what you say to your wife/husband if it is worth saying at all. Will your words build or destroy?
12. Avoid debt:
Many marriages have been broken and shattered because of indebtedness. As much as possible live within you income. This is one of the things that bring tension and conflicts in homes. It has also led to some people committing suicide. Live a simple life. Remember Proverbs 22 v 7.